To Janet at Twisted Knitter, for the gift of some gorgeous sock yarn and a mix CD. It is on its way from Texas and I am very excited. I love the generosity of knitting bloggers. There are often give aways, and I have learned so much as a beginning knitter reading about other people's projects.
To my Grandma for inspiring me to enter the wonderful world of knitting; (pictures of my first cowl to follow soon).
For good friends. One of my closest friends flew in from Ohio yesterday, and we had a wonderful dinner full of good food good wine, and most importantly good talk, and lots of laughs. Being with good friends feels so easy, they know all the stories, it takes minutes to catch up after months apart, and there is always new experiences and old memories to share.
I feel a bit like I do after eating breakfast in bed, or taking off my shoes after a long day walking in the countryside, or perhaps how a cat feels after a saucer of cream.
Tuesday 4 November 2008
Monday 20 October 2008
The Weather is Changing
The sky is an awesome and threatening lilac grey. The rain is coming. It will be the first proper autumn rain this year. We have had some beautiful crisp sunny days over the last few weeks, but I am ready for tiny cold raindrops prickling my face as the wind blows the towards me, and the relief of getting home, shaking off, cooking a hearty meal, reading, and knitting.
As the weather changes, so does so much else. Bean & I began packing this weekend, many of our things being sealed up, to be opened in 9 months time by different people. Well, actually the same people, but with an additional set of experiences, and stripped of so many of the things we identify ourselves with - job, home, even my bicycle!
Changing weather, changing leaves, changing seasons.
As the weather changes, so does so much else. Bean & I began packing this weekend, many of our things being sealed up, to be opened in 9 months time by different people. Well, actually the same people, but with an additional set of experiences, and stripped of so many of the things we identify ourselves with - job, home, even my bicycle!
Changing weather, changing leaves, changing seasons.
Friday 17 October 2008
Autumn
It's been a little while since I have posted, somehow life seemed to get in the way, and in the meanwhile autumn has begun. Walking home from work last night I was struck by the cool colours in the sky as the short evening came to an end. Almost clear of clouds, the icy blue sky formed the perfect background for the rich warm variety of colours found in the leaves of the trees on Wandsworth Common. As the sun set the cool blues mixed with a vibrant pink, so different from the rich golden sunsets of summertime.
The crisp air has allowed me the luxury of knitwear, scarves, mittens, and hats, not to mention my long knee socks. My enthusiasm for woolly hats and scarves has developed this year, into an expensive and time consuming knitting habit. I am working on my second scarf, fingerless mittens have been completed, and I am setting my sights on lace. There is great satisfaction to be found in making something, seeing it develop in front of your eyes, and I am very much enjoying it. I look forward to many cozy evenings curled up on the sofa, knitting away and drinking hot chocolate.
The crisp air has allowed me the luxury of knitwear, scarves, mittens, and hats, not to mention my long knee socks. My enthusiasm for woolly hats and scarves has developed this year, into an expensive and time consuming knitting habit. I am working on my second scarf, fingerless mittens have been completed, and I am setting my sights on lace. There is great satisfaction to be found in making something, seeing it develop in front of your eyes, and I am very much enjoying it. I look forward to many cozy evenings curled up on the sofa, knitting away and drinking hot chocolate.
Monday 22 September 2008
A Whole New London
Every now and then, I discover something new about London. I have lived here about 5 years now, and it still surprises me every now and then. This weekend I went to Greenwich for the first time. I had been to the dome when it opened, but never really knew there was much more to the area. Well, how silly I was. Greenwich is beautiful, and full of market stalls selling everything from second hand books, to handmade jewelry to Bonsai trees. The streets meander in a refreshing tangle of pavement, and then, bang, you're in a beautiful big green park, with a hillside stretching up in front of you, crowned by the Royal Observatory. The lovely neoclassical buildings of the Naval museum draw straight, lines on the green landscape at the foot of the hill and certainly add to the grandeur of the place.
Bean and I enjoyed a picnic in the park, followed by a wander around the arts & crafts market, topping it off watching sunset from the top of the hill. A glorious day, the long almost-autumn shadows drawn on the green grass made for some lovely photos, but more on that tomorrow!
Bean and I enjoyed a picnic in the park, followed by a wander around the arts & crafts market, topping it off watching sunset from the top of the hill. A glorious day, the long almost-autumn shadows drawn on the green grass made for some lovely photos, but more on that tomorrow!
Friday 19 September 2008
A Lovely Read
A Lovely Sunny Friday today in London, always makes it slightly more difficult to sit at a desk from 9-5 though. To help the afternoon slip by I am listening to Radio 4's Book at Bedtime. The featured book is Dorothy Whipple's Someone at a Distance. I read the book a week or so ago and thoroughly enjoyed Whipple's wit, and her concise writing perfectly balanced with small and beautiful details that slowly and subtly build the characters and the setting. It is a lovely edition published by Persephone, and I truly enjoyed the typeface, the good quality paper, and the beautiful cover.
The audio adaptation is far from un-enjoyable, but it lacks the beauty of the words on the page, and even more significantly, it doesn't grasp my attention in the same way as a book. Reading takes a degree of concentration, you must sit in a position so that you can hold the book, must direct your gaze towards the page, and in doing so outside distractions fall away, but when listening too many other things can be accomplished, and this leads the reader astray from the beauty of the words, and sometimes even from the plot. In addition there is the abridgement, that necessarily removes phrases and nuances that I feel are a large part of the strength of Whipple's book, of any good book.
I don't mean to belittle the medium, it brings books in small manageable packages to busy people daily, and a good book- abridged and on audio or not, is a wonderful thing. Rather I realise just how precious the written word can be, and how much beauty there can be in a new book, an old well-read and slightly crumpled book, a paperback, a hardback, a long-awaited book, and all those ones that crop up seemingly out of nowhere - often the best of all.
The audio adaptation is far from un-enjoyable, but it lacks the beauty of the words on the page, and even more significantly, it doesn't grasp my attention in the same way as a book. Reading takes a degree of concentration, you must sit in a position so that you can hold the book, must direct your gaze towards the page, and in doing so outside distractions fall away, but when listening too many other things can be accomplished, and this leads the reader astray from the beauty of the words, and sometimes even from the plot. In addition there is the abridgement, that necessarily removes phrases and nuances that I feel are a large part of the strength of Whipple's book, of any good book.
I don't mean to belittle the medium, it brings books in small manageable packages to busy people daily, and a good book- abridged and on audio or not, is a wonderful thing. Rather I realise just how precious the written word can be, and how much beauty there can be in a new book, an old well-read and slightly crumpled book, a paperback, a hardback, a long-awaited book, and all those ones that crop up seemingly out of nowhere - often the best of all.
Thursday 18 September 2008
Breathing Underwater
I am reading Julie Orringer's How to Breathe Underwater at the moment, and loving it! The book is a collection of short stories, a genre I tend to distance myself from, only because I like the neat package of a novel contained within the covers. I have often feared a disparate collection of stories, or, even worse, a book of stories so similar as to be repetitions of their counterparts.
Orringer banished my (apparently unfounded) fears by the end of the second story. The stories do have multiple common themes, water being the obvious one, but also youth, loss, and illness. That said, it is not a dark book, but more a compulsive and addictive set of stories, set in various parts of the US. It is a quick read, with vivid imagery and honest narrators, and I will be saddened later today when I finish the last story. I may even have to turn right back to page one and start again!
Orringer banished my (apparently unfounded) fears by the end of the second story. The stories do have multiple common themes, water being the obvious one, but also youth, loss, and illness. That said, it is not a dark book, but more a compulsive and addictive set of stories, set in various parts of the US. It is a quick read, with vivid imagery and honest narrators, and I will be saddened later today when I finish the last story. I may even have to turn right back to page one and start again!
Wednesday 17 September 2008
Beautiful Things
This post is an attempt to slow down reading. Too many people (myself included) read so quickly, especially on the Internet. This is not a blog to be browsed but to be actively participated in. Below are a collection of simple images for you to elaborate on in your own minds. Enjoy!
The first lick of paint on a clean white canvas
The last piece of birthday cake
Shiny new acorns
Thick green asparagus spears
A butter yellow full moon glowing through a thin veil of cloud
Smoke curling above a freshly lit stick on incense
Stacks of unread books, just waiting to be opened
Cows munching on fresh green grass
Galloping horses
The first lick of paint on a clean white canvas
The last piece of birthday cake
Shiny new acorns
Thick green asparagus spears
A butter yellow full moon glowing through a thin veil of cloud
Smoke curling above a freshly lit stick on incense
Stacks of unread books, just waiting to be opened
Cows munching on fresh green grass
Galloping horses
Monday 15 September 2008
Lovely London weekend
Lovely London weekends tend to involve bacon sandwiches for breakfast, with fresh fruit and mint tea, followed by leisurely walks down Northcote road, the place for fresh produce, organic butchers, fishmongers, clothing stalls, aromatherapy oils and croissants. Then bumpy bus rides, which pass as i turn the pages of my book. Here they diverge, into the countryside, the flower markets, food markets, or parks. This weekend it was the Tate Modern, one of my favourite weekend activities that I hadn't taken advantage of for far too long. The Southbank of the Thames was buzzing with stalls selling knick knacks, and even free Tango lessons. Men were chopping up fresh coconuts as a cooling drink and a snack all in one, (not great for a breezy September day, but the sun was shining).
Art museums slow my mind down, it is a form of meditation I suppose and Cy Twombly's Post-Abstract Impressionism canvases, mammoth in size and in emotion, did not disappoint. There is a magic in the London of the weekends, a feeling that people are doing things because they want to not because they have to, an almost holidaying spirit. The shining sun definitely helped, and they'll be no complaints from me if an Indian Summer makes a late appearance.
Art museums slow my mind down, it is a form of meditation I suppose and Cy Twombly's Post-Abstract Impressionism canvases, mammoth in size and in emotion, did not disappoint. There is a magic in the London of the weekends, a feeling that people are doing things because they want to not because they have to, an almost holidaying spirit. The shining sun definitely helped, and they'll be no complaints from me if an Indian Summer makes a late appearance.
Tuesday 9 September 2008
September
A drizzly September day today, cool, but not cold. I took the train in to work, and despite the bumpy ride, there is a certain charm to the double-decker bus. Perhaps because I grew up in the U.S. they still hold a degree of wonder for me. When they whip around the tight roundabouts of London, I am often slightly shocked they don't just topple over.
The winding down of the mild English summer feels a bit of a relief. Jumpers and thick socks, cozy darkening evenings, watching raindrops falling onto puddles, forming rings and spreading a little before the next drop falls.
Bring on the roasted vegetables, hearty soups, hot chocolates topped with thick whipped cream, the scarves, gloves, red noses and falling leaves.
The winding down of the mild English summer feels a bit of a relief. Jumpers and thick socks, cozy darkening evenings, watching raindrops falling onto puddles, forming rings and spreading a little before the next drop falls.
Bring on the roasted vegetables, hearty soups, hot chocolates topped with thick whipped cream, the scarves, gloves, red noses and falling leaves.
Monday 8 September 2008
Friday 29 August 2008
What I know -- I think
Be Here - Now (Thank you Mr Tolle)
Eat Food, not too much, lots of vegetables (Thank you Mr. Pollan)
Drama feeds Drama feeds Drama feeds Drama (Thank you Mr Tolle)
Life is Beautiful- whether it be in a rare orchid or a dung beatle
Sleep is Sacred -- So is meditation
Eat Food, not too much, lots of vegetables (Thank you Mr. Pollan)
Drama feeds Drama feeds Drama feeds Drama (Thank you Mr Tolle)
Life is Beautiful- whether it be in a rare orchid or a dung beatle
Sleep is Sacred -- So is meditation
Forgiveness is Freedom
Nothing Lasts Forever
Wednesday 27 August 2008
Gratitude
' It is not happiness that makes gratefulness, but gratefulness that makes happiness. '
~ Brother David Steindl-Rast
Rich, dark chocolate melting in the mouth
Cold water flowing down a warm throat on a muggy day
The rich texture of walnut - such a joy to trace your fingers along
The silence behind all the sounds
Forward bends - the feeling of stretch through legs and the loosening of the neck and back
Seafood platters piled high with yumminess, served with lemon jouce and bread and butter
Stacks of new books, full of things to learn, think about, and enjoy
Thank You World!
~ Brother David Steindl-Rast
Rich, dark chocolate melting in the mouth
Cold water flowing down a warm throat on a muggy day
The rich texture of walnut - such a joy to trace your fingers along
The silence behind all the sounds
Forward bends - the feeling of stretch through legs and the loosening of the neck and back
Seafood platters piled high with yumminess, served with lemon jouce and bread and butter
Stacks of new books, full of things to learn, think about, and enjoy
Thank You World!
Whole Foods vs. Nutrients
I had an extra long bank holiday weekend this week. Five days to rest and renew. On the whole it was a success, I bought a stack of books that I can hardly wait to devour, including In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan.
I am already loving this book, and I am only 30 pages in, (I would be further along, but reading on a London bus is more difficult than you may imagine). The basic premise is 'Eat food, not too much. Mostly plants' as I see it so far the point is: eat real foods, whole foods, & stop worrying about nutrients, because whole foods and fruit and veggies are full of them anyway-- and science isn't advanced enough to second guess nature.
Sounds good to me. I am looking forward to hearing what he says about red meat, butter, and other dairy products. I find small doses is the best strategy, and never buy margarine or processed meats. I have always felt this makes more sense, and I am hoping Pollan will back up his theories with some real evidence.
I am already loving this book, and I am only 30 pages in, (I would be further along, but reading on a London bus is more difficult than you may imagine). The basic premise is 'Eat food, not too much. Mostly plants' as I see it so far the point is: eat real foods, whole foods, & stop worrying about nutrients, because whole foods and fruit and veggies are full of them anyway-- and science isn't advanced enough to second guess nature.
Sounds good to me. I am looking forward to hearing what he says about red meat, butter, and other dairy products. I find small doses is the best strategy, and never buy margarine or processed meats. I have always felt this makes more sense, and I am hoping Pollan will back up his theories with some real evidence.
Thursday 21 August 2008
A little experiment
I didn't wake up feeling quite as rested as I would've liked this morning. Not sure why; I went to bed nice and early, and slept right through. It may have something to do with the glass of wine I had...I have become ridiculously sensitive to alcohol recently, (I am hoping this is a sign I am more in tune with my body, but right now, I sort of wish I wasn't quite so in tune with it)!
So I have been saying to myself and anyone who asks that I am tired, but having given it some thought I have decided this is reinforcing my connection to my ego and that I need to acknowledge tiredness, but not make it a part of who I am. I figure ego-linked identities can be temporary, like being tired. So the experiment is not to be tired, but just to feel tired.
I am hoping that feeling tired will make it less important, and it will feel more like a passing circumstance than a startling reality -- it won't become part of who I am, just part of how I feel now.
The second part of the experiment is to yield to the feeling. Yielding is quite a big theme in my Yoga classes. My teacher is always saying, don't collapse, don't strain, just yield. Sounds like a pretty awesome life philosophy to me...I just hope it doesn't result in me falling asleep at my desk!
So I have been saying to myself and anyone who asks that I am tired, but having given it some thought I have decided this is reinforcing my connection to my ego and that I need to acknowledge tiredness, but not make it a part of who I am. I figure ego-linked identities can be temporary, like being tired. So the experiment is not to be tired, but just to feel tired.
I am hoping that feeling tired will make it less important, and it will feel more like a passing circumstance than a startling reality -- it won't become part of who I am, just part of how I feel now.
The second part of the experiment is to yield to the feeling. Yielding is quite a big theme in my Yoga classes. My teacher is always saying, don't collapse, don't strain, just yield. Sounds like a pretty awesome life philosophy to me...I just hope it doesn't result in me falling asleep at my desk!
Monday 18 August 2008
The Trees are Smiling
Really they are! Trees love wet mornings, the rain pattering on their thirsty leaves, and seeping into their labyrinthine roots. They love the warm wetness of August rain, and the slowly appearing cracks in the greyness, that become their breakfast, a nice leaf-ful of sunlight! Bursting with energy and water and its only 11am, they are ready for their day.
Always in the now, not worrying, just soaking up the sun and the rain, there may even be a rainbow, but there doesn't need to be- because the beauty of the rainbow, is just the beauty, power, majesty and grace of light, seen in a slightly different way through a rain drop. The grace is there Now, rainbow or no rainbow.
Have a Great Day
Always in the now, not worrying, just soaking up the sun and the rain, there may even be a rainbow, but there doesn't need to be- because the beauty of the rainbow, is just the beauty, power, majesty and grace of light, seen in a slightly different way through a rain drop. The grace is there Now, rainbow or no rainbow.
Have a Great Day
Friday 15 August 2008
Thursday 14 August 2008
Some Recent Snaps
ok. I know it is a little crazy, but I think lovely white sheets are beautiful, especially in the evening light of my garden, the ripples are sumptuous, and there is nothing like clean white bedsheets!
Our very own potatoes! grown in our garden, it isn't exactly a bumper crop, but they're the first vegetable I have ever grown, and they were tasty tasty tasty!
Bean jumping about in the country during our camping trip.
Just think of all the squirrels that would feed!Today is just as it should be
A beautiful morning today. Cycling in to work was the perfect way to start the day, a crisp breeze to prevent the usual stickiness of summer cycling, coupled with the feeling of sun on my skin. What I love about cycling is the movement; it is great for bringing me into the now, and I get a reel sense of presence when I am on my bike.
I especially love bringing my attention to my skin, the feeling of the wind on my arm, my hairs tickling the skin; the dappling of sunshine and shade, hot and cool as I move and the low morning sun appears and disappears behind buildings. Then there is my muscles slowly waking up after a long and restful night's sleep, stretching and working to the rhythm of the bike. Visually, cycling in London is a feast, you have to be looking everywhere, watching for hazards, traffic lights, glancing the green trees that line many of the roads on the trip. Everything is happening and you can see it, hear it, feel it, even smell it. And there is no time to think, not if you are busy feeling, seeing and cycling!
I find it is this kind of meditation, presence, consciousness (whatever you want to call it), that I am drawn to most, and I feel it gradually and powerfully beginning to permeate everything I do.
Another example is last night in yoga class. I found I had preconceptions of what I wanted from the class. I did not realise this until my teacher mentioned that we would be working on inversions. I suddenly felt my body become tense, and emotion rising within me, but instead of letting it ruin my class, I lay there, in savasana, and observed the reaction within myself. And you know what, I am really starting to enjoy experimenting with the handstand, and I am convinced that the class was just as it should have been.
I especially love bringing my attention to my skin, the feeling of the wind on my arm, my hairs tickling the skin; the dappling of sunshine and shade, hot and cool as I move and the low morning sun appears and disappears behind buildings. Then there is my muscles slowly waking up after a long and restful night's sleep, stretching and working to the rhythm of the bike. Visually, cycling in London is a feast, you have to be looking everywhere, watching for hazards, traffic lights, glancing the green trees that line many of the roads on the trip. Everything is happening and you can see it, hear it, feel it, even smell it. And there is no time to think, not if you are busy feeling, seeing and cycling!
I find it is this kind of meditation, presence, consciousness (whatever you want to call it), that I am drawn to most, and I feel it gradually and powerfully beginning to permeate everything I do.
Another example is last night in yoga class. I found I had preconceptions of what I wanted from the class. I did not realise this until my teacher mentioned that we would be working on inversions. I suddenly felt my body become tense, and emotion rising within me, but instead of letting it ruin my class, I lay there, in savasana, and observed the reaction within myself. And you know what, I am really starting to enjoy experimenting with the handstand, and I am convinced that the class was just as it should have been.
Monday 11 August 2008
Today
Today is a slow, mellow kind of a day, I cycled to work at a relaxed pace, enjoying the feeling of the wind on my bare arms, and my legs slowly waking up, stretching and enjoying the rhythm of the bike.
I have been thinking about what to write about today, worrying I wouldn't have anything interesting to say, and then I realised that that is ok; that some days there won''t be any startling revelations, or thrilling experiences. So now I am enjoying the meandering day. I had a fairly busy weekend, so it is quite nice to sit at my desk, go through my work, look out the window, and just be.
I have been thinking about what to write about today, worrying I wouldn't have anything interesting to say, and then I realised that that is ok; that some days there won''t be any startling revelations, or thrilling experiences. So now I am enjoying the meandering day. I had a fairly busy weekend, so it is quite nice to sit at my desk, go through my work, look out the window, and just be.
Friday 8 August 2008
Fridays
A reminder to myself, and others, that Friday is a lovely day in itself, not just an intermediary between Thursday and Saturday, but is a joyful day in itself. Today has been full of green trees, free stickers, beautiful beads, sun salutes, and breakfast in bed with bean! and it is only 1630!
I find that Fridays are also as good a time as any to remember what your grateful for...the first five things to come to mind: quiet moments in the ashdown forest, my Grandma's blackberry pies, my toes, dark chocolate, Bean. I feel better already!
Have a Great Weekend!
I find that Fridays are also as good a time as any to remember what your grateful for...the first five things to come to mind: quiet moments in the ashdown forest, my Grandma's blackberry pies, my toes, dark chocolate, Bean. I feel better already!
Have a Great Weekend!
Wednesday 6 August 2008
Meditation
I learned a new (to me) meditation technique last night, and wanted to share it, as it really helped me to focus quickly on the now. Sit comfortably, or lie on the floor on your back, and take a few deep belly breaths before you begin. It is a counting technique & the idea is to count your breaths (on the exhale) from 10 to 1, (not audibly, just in your mind) and then begin at 10 again. If you lose count, just start wherever you think you left off, if you prefer visualisation to saying the number to yourself, that is fine, and may lead to a quieter space for you to sit in. I did this for a bout 8 minutes and then spent a further minute or so consciously relaxing my brain, (which feels really good). Eventually the numbers will become unnecessary, (it may not be the first time you try the meditation--wasn't for me) in this case, just let the numbers drop away and sit in the stillness. Give it a try and tell em how you find it!
A New Earth
Ok, so I know I may be getting a little ahead of myself, but I began reading Eckhart Tolle's sequel to The Power of Now, it is called A New Earth, it has been quite a hit, since Oprah chose it for her book club and did a series on online tutorials with Tolle.
The book is beautifully written, and I find it much easier to assimilate, and somehow gentler than PON, although I am still glad I read PON first because it gives a great grounding in the subject. A New Earth is more focused on how to bring the power of now into your day to day life.
The book begins beautifully with a passage on the importance of flowers. Tolle writes that their inherent beauty is due to their impermanence, which allows the brightness of their being to shine through. I love this concept, and it is definitely true that flowers are at their most beautiful and breathtaking when you just observe them, as opposed to labelling them and thinking about them. With that in mind, my camping trip in Sussex Monday and Tuesday took on a new light.
I would like to say that the trip was 48 hours of mindfulness, with no thinking, and a wonderful sense of being, and communing with nature, and in a way that's true....but it isn't the whole truth!
Bean and I forgot a watch, and decided not to bring a phone, this lead to a great sense of freedom, and complete lack of thinking about time, (try counting how many times you look at a clock in a day, how many of those are necessary?). We also spent about an hour on the second day walking in silence. I spent this time focusing on being aware, and observing the beautiful birch forests, the ground littered with bracken, and the occasional babbling brook. This was a beautiful experience and I truly felt the life of the forest in the vibrant greens of the leaves and the damp mosses on the trees. I must admit that I kept singing to myself, I just could not get this song out of my head (I can't even remember what it was now), but that was a gentle reminder of just how in control my mind is -- there is definitely a need for practise! When the song receded, even for a second or two, or when I stopped paying attention to the song, that was when I felt the beauty of the forest most strongly.
The silent walking especially and the whole trip in general was a revitalising and refreshing experience, and I can honestly say I have never seen as much beauty in a cow, a sheep, or a fallen tree trunk than I did whilst focusing on observing them, not labelling them. I also learned to navigate properly which is such a relief as I have lots of adventures planned in the near future for which it will be an indispensable skill. Watch this space!
The book is beautifully written, and I find it much easier to assimilate, and somehow gentler than PON, although I am still glad I read PON first because it gives a great grounding in the subject. A New Earth is more focused on how to bring the power of now into your day to day life.
The book begins beautifully with a passage on the importance of flowers. Tolle writes that their inherent beauty is due to their impermanence, which allows the brightness of their being to shine through. I love this concept, and it is definitely true that flowers are at their most beautiful and breathtaking when you just observe them, as opposed to labelling them and thinking about them. With that in mind, my camping trip in Sussex Monday and Tuesday took on a new light.
I would like to say that the trip was 48 hours of mindfulness, with no thinking, and a wonderful sense of being, and communing with nature, and in a way that's true....but it isn't the whole truth!
Bean and I forgot a watch, and decided not to bring a phone, this lead to a great sense of freedom, and complete lack of thinking about time, (try counting how many times you look at a clock in a day, how many of those are necessary?). We also spent about an hour on the second day walking in silence. I spent this time focusing on being aware, and observing the beautiful birch forests, the ground littered with bracken, and the occasional babbling brook. This was a beautiful experience and I truly felt the life of the forest in the vibrant greens of the leaves and the damp mosses on the trees. I must admit that I kept singing to myself, I just could not get this song out of my head (I can't even remember what it was now), but that was a gentle reminder of just how in control my mind is -- there is definitely a need for practise! When the song receded, even for a second or two, or when I stopped paying attention to the song, that was when I felt the beauty of the forest most strongly.
The silent walking especially and the whole trip in general was a revitalising and refreshing experience, and I can honestly say I have never seen as much beauty in a cow, a sheep, or a fallen tree trunk than I did whilst focusing on observing them, not labelling them. I also learned to navigate properly which is such a relief as I have lots of adventures planned in the near future for which it will be an indispensable skill. Watch this space!
Wednesday 30 July 2008
A Lesson in Impermanence
In meditation class yesterday, in which we discussed:
the world is a mirror reflecting ourselves
total presence in the now equates to total forgiveness
once you have forgiven the whole situation is changed & improved
your emotions are a physical manifestation of your thoughts and therefore your mind (not you)
and as if to reinforce all the beautiful knowledge, after leaving the class I realised my bicycle had been stolen. My beautiful 21st birthday present, the perfect fit, the racing bike of my dreams, gone. So with great effort (I am not going to pretend it was easy), I walked away, and observed my emotions, without becoming involved in them, I accepted the situation and then decided in a course of action, and I tried to keep myself in my body, in the present, and in the stillness. I wasn't wildly successful, I loved that bike, (attachment!), and I am trying very hard to pay off debts and save for a once-in-a-lifetime style trip to South America, I do not particularly want to spend money on a new bike. But, looking back over yesterday evening, 'old me' very well may have been in a mood all night, felt like a victim and got completely engrossed in my life situation, completely forgetting the life within me.
So, I am actually quite pleased, I am making progress, I feel there is more peace in my life, and more presence, and I am quite looking forward to the opportunity to choose a new bike, I would quite like the next one to be green!
As well as the lessons I learned about myself, I am also reminded of the impermanence of things in this world, and the subsequent danger of attachment. It is frightening and humbling to be reminded that nothing in this world lasts forever - at least not in its current form, but also very liberating.
Not only can it be liberating, but it is also counterbalanced with the eternal nature of light, energy, divinity, God, whatever you want to call it, and these are the two things that all life forms have in common- mortality and eternity.
the world is a mirror reflecting ourselves
total presence in the now equates to total forgiveness
once you have forgiven the whole situation is changed & improved
your emotions are a physical manifestation of your thoughts and therefore your mind (not you)
and as if to reinforce all the beautiful knowledge, after leaving the class I realised my bicycle had been stolen. My beautiful 21st birthday present, the perfect fit, the racing bike of my dreams, gone. So with great effort (I am not going to pretend it was easy), I walked away, and observed my emotions, without becoming involved in them, I accepted the situation and then decided in a course of action, and I tried to keep myself in my body, in the present, and in the stillness. I wasn't wildly successful, I loved that bike, (attachment!), and I am trying very hard to pay off debts and save for a once-in-a-lifetime style trip to South America, I do not particularly want to spend money on a new bike. But, looking back over yesterday evening, 'old me' very well may have been in a mood all night, felt like a victim and got completely engrossed in my life situation, completely forgetting the life within me.
So, I am actually quite pleased, I am making progress, I feel there is more peace in my life, and more presence, and I am quite looking forward to the opportunity to choose a new bike, I would quite like the next one to be green!
As well as the lessons I learned about myself, I am also reminded of the impermanence of things in this world, and the subsequent danger of attachment. It is frightening and humbling to be reminded that nothing in this world lasts forever - at least not in its current form, but also very liberating.
Not only can it be liberating, but it is also counterbalanced with the eternal nature of light, energy, divinity, God, whatever you want to call it, and these are the two things that all life forms have in common- mortality and eternity.
Monday 28 July 2008
What a Weekend!
Well, I don't know about you, but I just had the most lovely weekend! It was my birthday on Sunday, which always helps! I managed to cross a few things off my To Do While I am in London List. Including, visiting New Covent Garden flower market, picnicking Brockwell Park, eating as much Ben & Jerry's ice cream as I can (for free!), seeing West Side Story, (seen it before, but was far to young to appreciate it's genius and bravery), discovery the perfect lasagna, and learning how to make necklaces from silk cord.
Needless to say, I was busy, but not the kind of busy that is difficult and draining; the kind of busy that makes you feel like you used your days, the busy that makes you feel ready for bed at bedtime, not the kind that makes you wish there were hours left in the day to fill with more busy-ness, as if always struggling against the spinning of the earth. One type of busy is the natural filling of the day, the other is the cramming and struggling kind; fighting time, your body, and your circumstances.
It's just a thought, but why to we constantly need to be that struggling kind of busy, surely we could get more done, with more grace, if we just use the time we're given, instead of constantly wishing for more time. Acceptance and gratitude are can be very powerful tools.
Needless to say, I was busy, but not the kind of busy that is difficult and draining; the kind of busy that makes you feel like you used your days, the busy that makes you feel ready for bed at bedtime, not the kind that makes you wish there were hours left in the day to fill with more busy-ness, as if always struggling against the spinning of the earth. One type of busy is the natural filling of the day, the other is the cramming and struggling kind; fighting time, your body, and your circumstances.
It's just a thought, but why to we constantly need to be that struggling kind of busy, surely we could get more done, with more grace, if we just use the time we're given, instead of constantly wishing for more time. Acceptance and gratitude are can be very powerful tools.
Wednesday 23 July 2008
Who am I?
Last night was my first class for my new meditation course, based on the text by Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now. No matter what the class there is almost an element of anticipation before the first session, and this was no different, but it was short-lived. The environment was welcoming, and sipping water with mint leaves and lime was refreshing after a sweaty cycle.
I have dabbled in meditation since I was twelve, but never truly committed to it. The reason it appeals to me is not particularly esoteric, if I am honest, the reason is that I want to quiet my mind. I tire of the constant chatter of my thoughts, most of which are pointless, the worst of which are harmful and poisoning. It exhausts me, thinking so much all the time, right up until the second I fall asleep.
Tolle's book focuses on just this principle. He suggests that thoughts have taken over our consciousness. Instead of using our thoughts as a tool, we have allowed our thoughts to become us, to define us, and to create suffering. The teacher yesterday put it beautifully. He said, 'who knows what you are thinking? you do. Someone is watching those thoughts, and that is who you truly are.' I love this idea, the idea that our thoughts are just a small part of ourselves, and not who we are.
This means that whatever you do or think, you are still you, whether your home is repossessed, you're fired, you lose your limbs, you think you are losing a part of your identity, of who you are, but you aren't because who we are is stronger than that, and unlike all our thoughts, who we are is eternal, thoughts are impermanent. It is also scary, because it means that the house we are working towards buying, the job we have, and the partner we are searching for, will not change who we are; will not make us 'better'.
We are already the best version of ourselves, we just have to learn to tap into ourselves by letting go of our thoughts, and this is, of course, achieved through meditation. So I am going to explore the me behind the thoughts by various meditation techniques. This week: watching my thoughts. By becoming aware of my thoughts, I can separate myself from them and begin to understand (not intellectually, but consciously) that I am not my thoughts, and this is step one.
It is a pretty life changing concept, and if you really want to explore it I highly recommend the book. I will keep you posted on how the course goes. Comments welcome, I'd love to hear what you think!
I have dabbled in meditation since I was twelve, but never truly committed to it. The reason it appeals to me is not particularly esoteric, if I am honest, the reason is that I want to quiet my mind. I tire of the constant chatter of my thoughts, most of which are pointless, the worst of which are harmful and poisoning. It exhausts me, thinking so much all the time, right up until the second I fall asleep.
Tolle's book focuses on just this principle. He suggests that thoughts have taken over our consciousness. Instead of using our thoughts as a tool, we have allowed our thoughts to become us, to define us, and to create suffering. The teacher yesterday put it beautifully. He said, 'who knows what you are thinking? you do. Someone is watching those thoughts, and that is who you truly are.' I love this idea, the idea that our thoughts are just a small part of ourselves, and not who we are.
This means that whatever you do or think, you are still you, whether your home is repossessed, you're fired, you lose your limbs, you think you are losing a part of your identity, of who you are, but you aren't because who we are is stronger than that, and unlike all our thoughts, who we are is eternal, thoughts are impermanent. It is also scary, because it means that the house we are working towards buying, the job we have, and the partner we are searching for, will not change who we are; will not make us 'better'.
We are already the best version of ourselves, we just have to learn to tap into ourselves by letting go of our thoughts, and this is, of course, achieved through meditation. So I am going to explore the me behind the thoughts by various meditation techniques. This week: watching my thoughts. By becoming aware of my thoughts, I can separate myself from them and begin to understand (not intellectually, but consciously) that I am not my thoughts, and this is step one.
It is a pretty life changing concept, and if you really want to explore it I highly recommend the book. I will keep you posted on how the course goes. Comments welcome, I'd love to hear what you think!
Monday 21 July 2008
R&J
Bean & I went to sere Romeo & Juliet at the open air theatre in Regent's Park over the weekend, and it was positively lovely. The slowly darkening sky and the rustle in the trees invoked an amazing atmosphere that is just so difficult to find in a playhouse or theatre. Even the stray cat that ran across the stage and the drizzling rain couldn't detract from the magic of the performance. The production was set in the 1950's which did make it easier to relate to, and the actors really let the words shine through. I especially enjoyed the nurse's speech. In the first act, the long winded speech could become too much, but the nurse's interpretation was both witty and well-played. Always a powerful piece; the wonderful surroundings and the cozy intimacy made for a truly memorable night.
Next week-- West Side Story, I can't wait to compare the two radically different approaches to the ultimate love story!
Next week-- West Side Story, I can't wait to compare the two radically different approaches to the ultimate love story!
Thursday 17 July 2008
Singing Cyclist
weaving the streets of london;
through the spaces in between,
the streets crowded with walkers, bikers, drivers and hawkers.
she's not fast, she's not slow,
she enjoys the trip and seems to glow.
with a tra la la la off she'll go!
singing as she goes -- heard before she's seen
it may be pop, it may be rock,
sometimes mozart, occaisionally bach
the singing cyclist isn't fast, and isn't slow,
she enjoys the trip and seems to glow
loving her life as the glides along
loving her life and singing her song
through the spaces in between,
the streets crowded with walkers, bikers, drivers and hawkers.
she's not fast, she's not slow,
she enjoys the trip and seems to glow.
with a tra la la la off she'll go!
singing as she goes -- heard before she's seen
it may be pop, it may be rock,
sometimes mozart, occaisionally bach
the singing cyclist isn't fast, and isn't slow,
she enjoys the trip and seems to glow
loving her life as the glides along
loving her life and singing her song
Win a Quilt
Then give it to me! See here. This really makes me want to learn how to quilt...how hard can it be? (famous last words). Good luck everyone.
Wednesday 16 July 2008
Graduation
Last night was my final class in Beginner's Yoga. I started the course in April, with only a vague idea of what I was getting myself into. Needless to say I loved it, (otherwise I wouldn't give up a valuable Tuesday night once a week). Bean and I undertook the course together, both with different expectations and assumptions, most of which were blown out of the water within two weeks. To explain the course would be somewhat pointless because the experience is different for everyone, but I will endeavour to describe the effect it has had on me.
For starters, it brought me a new awareness of my body, and especially my breath. This lead to an acceptance of myself, which I found an immense relief. I am also beginning to tap into a stillness within myself; a relief during the madness my cycle commute to work in the mornings and evenings, and when I join the long queues at Clapham Junction on the days I can't seem to muster the energy for the cycle ride (often due to torrential summer rain). I suppose what I didn't expect from Yoga was that it would change my day-to-day life. That now, when I need a glass of water from downstairs (I work on the 7th floor), I take the stairs, and I enjoy the walk. I take the time and feel the stretch of my legs, breathe deeply and stop thinking for 6 flights. It leaves me with a strong feeling of presence, of occupying the moment not being a product of the past or a part of the future, (although I must give some credit to Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now -- Great book).
I would never say that Yoga is for everyone, but I do find that today, looking back over the past three months, I am a more content, more accepting person, both in regards to myself and others.
For starters, it brought me a new awareness of my body, and especially my breath. This lead to an acceptance of myself, which I found an immense relief. I am also beginning to tap into a stillness within myself; a relief during the madness my cycle commute to work in the mornings and evenings, and when I join the long queues at Clapham Junction on the days I can't seem to muster the energy for the cycle ride (often due to torrential summer rain). I suppose what I didn't expect from Yoga was that it would change my day-to-day life. That now, when I need a glass of water from downstairs (I work on the 7th floor), I take the stairs, and I enjoy the walk. I take the time and feel the stretch of my legs, breathe deeply and stop thinking for 6 flights. It leaves me with a strong feeling of presence, of occupying the moment not being a product of the past or a part of the future, (although I must give some credit to Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now -- Great book).
I would never say that Yoga is for everyone, but I do find that today, looking back over the past three months, I am a more content, more accepting person, both in regards to myself and others.
Monday 14 July 2008
Sunny Daze
Had a lovely day yesterday. London was at its best. The sun was shining, there was a gentle breeze to prevent the choking heat of some London July days. Bean and I went for a lovely long walk in Battersea Park, replete with an ice cream, (99 with a flake,--of course), some time on the grass and a visit to the river and the Peace Pagoda, and lots of photography. I have been practising using my super duper camera, (her name is Lucy, she is a Canon 400D). I am trying to move away form the automatic setting, and experiment with aperture and shutter speed, lovely bright sunny days are perfect for this kind of fun, and I will post the results soon!
The daze refers to the slight slowing in the walk, and the lingering in the dappled shade of big beautiful trees that the day demanded. The smoked salmon breakfast omelette cooked for me added to the luxury of the day, as did cups of cooling mint tea and a good book (India: A Million Mutinies Now, V.S. Naipaul). All in all, it was the perfect way to dwindle and dawdle through a Sunday
The daze refers to the slight slowing in the walk, and the lingering in the dappled shade of big beautiful trees that the day demanded. The smoked salmon breakfast omelette cooked for me added to the luxury of the day, as did cups of cooling mint tea and a good book (India: A Million Mutinies Now, V.S. Naipaul). All in all, it was the perfect way to dwindle and dawdle through a Sunday
Sunday 13 July 2008
Inner Voice
I found it! I have discovered my inner voice. The chanting evening was a truly enlightening experience, I came out feeling lightened, relaxed and more in touch with myself than ever before. Big claims for an hour and a half of chanting, I know. It was a medium sized group of about 20 people, all of whom were there for different reasons, and all of whom took different things away from the experience.
Sharing a room with people on a similar path is uplifting in itself; everyone was open (to varying degrees) to the experience, and we all had a good time. The most interesting part for me was an exercise called one breath, one voice, one sound. The Idea is to stand in the middle of the room and make whatever sound you want to. This freedom seems rare in our busy modern lives, and a non-judgemental environment is not always easy to find. Everyone made completely different sounds, no two were alike, and they certainly didn't match up to my expectations, small women screaming their lungs out, large men singing gentle tones, the list goes on. This was not the most powerful part of the experience for me though; that would have to be my turn. I was suitably nervous but knew I wanted to give it a go. I had an idea the sound would be a cool high toned Laaa...it was not, it was a more visceral, more tuneful, more honest sound, and I am not quite sure where it came from, but I liked it, and I recommend making more noise to anyone and everyone! I certainly will be.
Sharing a room with people on a similar path is uplifting in itself; everyone was open (to varying degrees) to the experience, and we all had a good time. The most interesting part for me was an exercise called one breath, one voice, one sound. The Idea is to stand in the middle of the room and make whatever sound you want to. This freedom seems rare in our busy modern lives, and a non-judgemental environment is not always easy to find. Everyone made completely different sounds, no two were alike, and they certainly didn't match up to my expectations, small women screaming their lungs out, large men singing gentle tones, the list goes on. This was not the most powerful part of the experience for me though; that would have to be my turn. I was suitably nervous but knew I wanted to give it a go. I had an idea the sound would be a cool high toned Laaa...it was not, it was a more visceral, more tuneful, more honest sound, and I am not quite sure where it came from, but I liked it, and I recommend making more noise to anyone and everyone! I certainly will be.
Friday 11 July 2008
Number One
Well, hello cyberspace! A short introduction feels like a good way to start. I'm a Londoner who loves reading, traveling, theatre, yoga, dance, sunshine and new things.
Well with that out of the way...I am trying something new tonight, I am a little apprehensive, but also very excite. Tonight I am attending my very first Kirtan Chanting session. The idea is to use your voice to access an inner peace, similar to Hatha yoga and meditation. I have listened to the chants before and find them very pacifying, but I'm not sure quite how my voice will adapt to this new form of noise-making. Singing is not my forte! Anyway, it should be a beautiful and peaceful beginning to the weekend, and a reminder that I do have time to stop thinking every now and again. Has anyone else tried this before? Any tips?
Wishing you all a revitalising weekend,
Well with that out of the way...I am trying something new tonight, I am a little apprehensive, but also very excite. Tonight I am attending my very first Kirtan Chanting session. The idea is to use your voice to access an inner peace, similar to Hatha yoga and meditation. I have listened to the chants before and find them very pacifying, but I'm not sure quite how my voice will adapt to this new form of noise-making. Singing is not my forte! Anyway, it should be a beautiful and peaceful beginning to the weekend, and a reminder that I do have time to stop thinking every now and again. Has anyone else tried this before? Any tips?
Wishing you all a revitalising weekend,
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