In meditation class yesterday, in which we discussed:
the world is a mirror reflecting ourselves
total presence in the now equates to total forgiveness
once you have forgiven the whole situation is changed & improved
your emotions are a physical manifestation of your thoughts and therefore your mind (not you)
and as if to reinforce all the beautiful knowledge, after leaving the class I realised my bicycle had been stolen. My beautiful 21st birthday present, the perfect fit, the racing bike of my dreams, gone. So with great effort (I am not going to pretend it was easy), I walked away, and observed my emotions, without becoming involved in them, I accepted the situation and then decided in a course of action, and I tried to keep myself in my body, in the present, and in the stillness. I wasn't wildly successful, I loved that bike, (attachment!), and I am trying very hard to pay off debts and save for a once-in-a-lifetime style trip to South America, I do not particularly want to spend money on a new bike. But, looking back over yesterday evening, 'old me' very well may have been in a mood all night, felt like a victim and got completely engrossed in my life situation, completely forgetting the life within me.
So, I am actually quite pleased, I am making progress, I feel there is more peace in my life, and more presence, and I am quite looking forward to the opportunity to choose a new bike, I would quite like the next one to be green!
As well as the lessons I learned about myself, I am also reminded of the impermanence of things in this world, and the subsequent danger of attachment. It is frightening and humbling to be reminded that nothing in this world lasts forever - at least not in its current form, but also very liberating.
Not only can it be liberating, but it is also counterbalanced with the eternal nature of light, energy, divinity, God, whatever you want to call it, and these are the two things that all life forms have in common- mortality and eternity.
Wednesday 30 July 2008
Monday 28 July 2008
What a Weekend!
Well, I don't know about you, but I just had the most lovely weekend! It was my birthday on Sunday, which always helps! I managed to cross a few things off my To Do While I am in London List. Including, visiting New Covent Garden flower market, picnicking Brockwell Park, eating as much Ben & Jerry's ice cream as I can (for free!), seeing West Side Story, (seen it before, but was far to young to appreciate it's genius and bravery), discovery the perfect lasagna, and learning how to make necklaces from silk cord.
Needless to say, I was busy, but not the kind of busy that is difficult and draining; the kind of busy that makes you feel like you used your days, the busy that makes you feel ready for bed at bedtime, not the kind that makes you wish there were hours left in the day to fill with more busy-ness, as if always struggling against the spinning of the earth. One type of busy is the natural filling of the day, the other is the cramming and struggling kind; fighting time, your body, and your circumstances.
It's just a thought, but why to we constantly need to be that struggling kind of busy, surely we could get more done, with more grace, if we just use the time we're given, instead of constantly wishing for more time. Acceptance and gratitude are can be very powerful tools.
Needless to say, I was busy, but not the kind of busy that is difficult and draining; the kind of busy that makes you feel like you used your days, the busy that makes you feel ready for bed at bedtime, not the kind that makes you wish there were hours left in the day to fill with more busy-ness, as if always struggling against the spinning of the earth. One type of busy is the natural filling of the day, the other is the cramming and struggling kind; fighting time, your body, and your circumstances.
It's just a thought, but why to we constantly need to be that struggling kind of busy, surely we could get more done, with more grace, if we just use the time we're given, instead of constantly wishing for more time. Acceptance and gratitude are can be very powerful tools.
Wednesday 23 July 2008
Who am I?
Last night was my first class for my new meditation course, based on the text by Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now. No matter what the class there is almost an element of anticipation before the first session, and this was no different, but it was short-lived. The environment was welcoming, and sipping water with mint leaves and lime was refreshing after a sweaty cycle.
I have dabbled in meditation since I was twelve, but never truly committed to it. The reason it appeals to me is not particularly esoteric, if I am honest, the reason is that I want to quiet my mind. I tire of the constant chatter of my thoughts, most of which are pointless, the worst of which are harmful and poisoning. It exhausts me, thinking so much all the time, right up until the second I fall asleep.
Tolle's book focuses on just this principle. He suggests that thoughts have taken over our consciousness. Instead of using our thoughts as a tool, we have allowed our thoughts to become us, to define us, and to create suffering. The teacher yesterday put it beautifully. He said, 'who knows what you are thinking? you do. Someone is watching those thoughts, and that is who you truly are.' I love this idea, the idea that our thoughts are just a small part of ourselves, and not who we are.
This means that whatever you do or think, you are still you, whether your home is repossessed, you're fired, you lose your limbs, you think you are losing a part of your identity, of who you are, but you aren't because who we are is stronger than that, and unlike all our thoughts, who we are is eternal, thoughts are impermanent. It is also scary, because it means that the house we are working towards buying, the job we have, and the partner we are searching for, will not change who we are; will not make us 'better'.
We are already the best version of ourselves, we just have to learn to tap into ourselves by letting go of our thoughts, and this is, of course, achieved through meditation. So I am going to explore the me behind the thoughts by various meditation techniques. This week: watching my thoughts. By becoming aware of my thoughts, I can separate myself from them and begin to understand (not intellectually, but consciously) that I am not my thoughts, and this is step one.
It is a pretty life changing concept, and if you really want to explore it I highly recommend the book. I will keep you posted on how the course goes. Comments welcome, I'd love to hear what you think!
I have dabbled in meditation since I was twelve, but never truly committed to it. The reason it appeals to me is not particularly esoteric, if I am honest, the reason is that I want to quiet my mind. I tire of the constant chatter of my thoughts, most of which are pointless, the worst of which are harmful and poisoning. It exhausts me, thinking so much all the time, right up until the second I fall asleep.
Tolle's book focuses on just this principle. He suggests that thoughts have taken over our consciousness. Instead of using our thoughts as a tool, we have allowed our thoughts to become us, to define us, and to create suffering. The teacher yesterday put it beautifully. He said, 'who knows what you are thinking? you do. Someone is watching those thoughts, and that is who you truly are.' I love this idea, the idea that our thoughts are just a small part of ourselves, and not who we are.
This means that whatever you do or think, you are still you, whether your home is repossessed, you're fired, you lose your limbs, you think you are losing a part of your identity, of who you are, but you aren't because who we are is stronger than that, and unlike all our thoughts, who we are is eternal, thoughts are impermanent. It is also scary, because it means that the house we are working towards buying, the job we have, and the partner we are searching for, will not change who we are; will not make us 'better'.
We are already the best version of ourselves, we just have to learn to tap into ourselves by letting go of our thoughts, and this is, of course, achieved through meditation. So I am going to explore the me behind the thoughts by various meditation techniques. This week: watching my thoughts. By becoming aware of my thoughts, I can separate myself from them and begin to understand (not intellectually, but consciously) that I am not my thoughts, and this is step one.
It is a pretty life changing concept, and if you really want to explore it I highly recommend the book. I will keep you posted on how the course goes. Comments welcome, I'd love to hear what you think!
Monday 21 July 2008
R&J
Bean & I went to sere Romeo & Juliet at the open air theatre in Regent's Park over the weekend, and it was positively lovely. The slowly darkening sky and the rustle in the trees invoked an amazing atmosphere that is just so difficult to find in a playhouse or theatre. Even the stray cat that ran across the stage and the drizzling rain couldn't detract from the magic of the performance. The production was set in the 1950's which did make it easier to relate to, and the actors really let the words shine through. I especially enjoyed the nurse's speech. In the first act, the long winded speech could become too much, but the nurse's interpretation was both witty and well-played. Always a powerful piece; the wonderful surroundings and the cozy intimacy made for a truly memorable night.
Next week-- West Side Story, I can't wait to compare the two radically different approaches to the ultimate love story!
Next week-- West Side Story, I can't wait to compare the two radically different approaches to the ultimate love story!
Thursday 17 July 2008
Singing Cyclist
weaving the streets of london;
through the spaces in between,
the streets crowded with walkers, bikers, drivers and hawkers.
she's not fast, she's not slow,
she enjoys the trip and seems to glow.
with a tra la la la off she'll go!
singing as she goes -- heard before she's seen
it may be pop, it may be rock,
sometimes mozart, occaisionally bach
the singing cyclist isn't fast, and isn't slow,
she enjoys the trip and seems to glow
loving her life as the glides along
loving her life and singing her song
through the spaces in between,
the streets crowded with walkers, bikers, drivers and hawkers.
she's not fast, she's not slow,
she enjoys the trip and seems to glow.
with a tra la la la off she'll go!
singing as she goes -- heard before she's seen
it may be pop, it may be rock,
sometimes mozart, occaisionally bach
the singing cyclist isn't fast, and isn't slow,
she enjoys the trip and seems to glow
loving her life as the glides along
loving her life and singing her song
Win a Quilt
Then give it to me! See here. This really makes me want to learn how to quilt...how hard can it be? (famous last words). Good luck everyone.
Wednesday 16 July 2008
Graduation
Last night was my final class in Beginner's Yoga. I started the course in April, with only a vague idea of what I was getting myself into. Needless to say I loved it, (otherwise I wouldn't give up a valuable Tuesday night once a week). Bean and I undertook the course together, both with different expectations and assumptions, most of which were blown out of the water within two weeks. To explain the course would be somewhat pointless because the experience is different for everyone, but I will endeavour to describe the effect it has had on me.
For starters, it brought me a new awareness of my body, and especially my breath. This lead to an acceptance of myself, which I found an immense relief. I am also beginning to tap into a stillness within myself; a relief during the madness my cycle commute to work in the mornings and evenings, and when I join the long queues at Clapham Junction on the days I can't seem to muster the energy for the cycle ride (often due to torrential summer rain). I suppose what I didn't expect from Yoga was that it would change my day-to-day life. That now, when I need a glass of water from downstairs (I work on the 7th floor), I take the stairs, and I enjoy the walk. I take the time and feel the stretch of my legs, breathe deeply and stop thinking for 6 flights. It leaves me with a strong feeling of presence, of occupying the moment not being a product of the past or a part of the future, (although I must give some credit to Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now -- Great book).
I would never say that Yoga is for everyone, but I do find that today, looking back over the past three months, I am a more content, more accepting person, both in regards to myself and others.
For starters, it brought me a new awareness of my body, and especially my breath. This lead to an acceptance of myself, which I found an immense relief. I am also beginning to tap into a stillness within myself; a relief during the madness my cycle commute to work in the mornings and evenings, and when I join the long queues at Clapham Junction on the days I can't seem to muster the energy for the cycle ride (often due to torrential summer rain). I suppose what I didn't expect from Yoga was that it would change my day-to-day life. That now, when I need a glass of water from downstairs (I work on the 7th floor), I take the stairs, and I enjoy the walk. I take the time and feel the stretch of my legs, breathe deeply and stop thinking for 6 flights. It leaves me with a strong feeling of presence, of occupying the moment not being a product of the past or a part of the future, (although I must give some credit to Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now -- Great book).
I would never say that Yoga is for everyone, but I do find that today, looking back over the past three months, I am a more content, more accepting person, both in regards to myself and others.
Monday 14 July 2008
Sunny Daze
Had a lovely day yesterday. London was at its best. The sun was shining, there was a gentle breeze to prevent the choking heat of some London July days. Bean and I went for a lovely long walk in Battersea Park, replete with an ice cream, (99 with a flake,--of course), some time on the grass and a visit to the river and the Peace Pagoda, and lots of photography. I have been practising using my super duper camera, (her name is Lucy, she is a Canon 400D). I am trying to move away form the automatic setting, and experiment with aperture and shutter speed, lovely bright sunny days are perfect for this kind of fun, and I will post the results soon!
The daze refers to the slight slowing in the walk, and the lingering in the dappled shade of big beautiful trees that the day demanded. The smoked salmon breakfast omelette cooked for me added to the luxury of the day, as did cups of cooling mint tea and a good book (India: A Million Mutinies Now, V.S. Naipaul). All in all, it was the perfect way to dwindle and dawdle through a Sunday
The daze refers to the slight slowing in the walk, and the lingering in the dappled shade of big beautiful trees that the day demanded. The smoked salmon breakfast omelette cooked for me added to the luxury of the day, as did cups of cooling mint tea and a good book (India: A Million Mutinies Now, V.S. Naipaul). All in all, it was the perfect way to dwindle and dawdle through a Sunday
Sunday 13 July 2008
Inner Voice
I found it! I have discovered my inner voice. The chanting evening was a truly enlightening experience, I came out feeling lightened, relaxed and more in touch with myself than ever before. Big claims for an hour and a half of chanting, I know. It was a medium sized group of about 20 people, all of whom were there for different reasons, and all of whom took different things away from the experience.
Sharing a room with people on a similar path is uplifting in itself; everyone was open (to varying degrees) to the experience, and we all had a good time. The most interesting part for me was an exercise called one breath, one voice, one sound. The Idea is to stand in the middle of the room and make whatever sound you want to. This freedom seems rare in our busy modern lives, and a non-judgemental environment is not always easy to find. Everyone made completely different sounds, no two were alike, and they certainly didn't match up to my expectations, small women screaming their lungs out, large men singing gentle tones, the list goes on. This was not the most powerful part of the experience for me though; that would have to be my turn. I was suitably nervous but knew I wanted to give it a go. I had an idea the sound would be a cool high toned Laaa...it was not, it was a more visceral, more tuneful, more honest sound, and I am not quite sure where it came from, but I liked it, and I recommend making more noise to anyone and everyone! I certainly will be.
Sharing a room with people on a similar path is uplifting in itself; everyone was open (to varying degrees) to the experience, and we all had a good time. The most interesting part for me was an exercise called one breath, one voice, one sound. The Idea is to stand in the middle of the room and make whatever sound you want to. This freedom seems rare in our busy modern lives, and a non-judgemental environment is not always easy to find. Everyone made completely different sounds, no two were alike, and they certainly didn't match up to my expectations, small women screaming their lungs out, large men singing gentle tones, the list goes on. This was not the most powerful part of the experience for me though; that would have to be my turn. I was suitably nervous but knew I wanted to give it a go. I had an idea the sound would be a cool high toned Laaa...it was not, it was a more visceral, more tuneful, more honest sound, and I am not quite sure where it came from, but I liked it, and I recommend making more noise to anyone and everyone! I certainly will be.
Friday 11 July 2008
Number One
Well, hello cyberspace! A short introduction feels like a good way to start. I'm a Londoner who loves reading, traveling, theatre, yoga, dance, sunshine and new things.
Well with that out of the way...I am trying something new tonight, I am a little apprehensive, but also very excite. Tonight I am attending my very first Kirtan Chanting session. The idea is to use your voice to access an inner peace, similar to Hatha yoga and meditation. I have listened to the chants before and find them very pacifying, but I'm not sure quite how my voice will adapt to this new form of noise-making. Singing is not my forte! Anyway, it should be a beautiful and peaceful beginning to the weekend, and a reminder that I do have time to stop thinking every now and again. Has anyone else tried this before? Any tips?
Wishing you all a revitalising weekend,
Well with that out of the way...I am trying something new tonight, I am a little apprehensive, but also very excite. Tonight I am attending my very first Kirtan Chanting session. The idea is to use your voice to access an inner peace, similar to Hatha yoga and meditation. I have listened to the chants before and find them very pacifying, but I'm not sure quite how my voice will adapt to this new form of noise-making. Singing is not my forte! Anyway, it should be a beautiful and peaceful beginning to the weekend, and a reminder that I do have time to stop thinking every now and again. Has anyone else tried this before? Any tips?
Wishing you all a revitalising weekend,
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